The manifestations of the crisis are 7 years old. "Psychology. New level of independence

The task of parents when preparing for school and in the first grades is to help create a zone of proximal development and work with the child in it, be with the child. The zone of proximal development is one of the basic concepts of developmental psychology, formulated by our psychologists and borrowed by Western ones. This is something that the child cannot do on his own now, but can do with some organizing help from adults.

Not when the mother does it instead of the child (this is a substitutive influence), but when the mother creates the conditions so that this skill becomes real instead of possible. The zone of proximal development is a little more than a child can do now. Parents are expected to know what the child is about to learn and to build some scaffolding and scaffolding through which to move on to that skill.

The child must go to school on his own

Independent preparation of homework is the zone of proximal development for preparatory students, for first-graders. He himself will not learn this, because school does not develop such a skill at the moment. With our help - organizing, not replacing - the child is able to master this skill.

And it’s the same with various specific difficulties in learning: something doesn’t work out, and we do it instead of the child and don’t do it together with the child, helping him to master it. This often happens because parents are overprotective and involved in their children from birth. Overprotection in studies is a dead end. We need to look at how to not migrate to the next stage of development with the same parenting style.

If possible, the child should go to school on his own. You need to understand that this is not your 1st grade, although we are very worried. Work in the zone of proximal development: you see that the child again did not put down his physical education form, and the simplest thing is to put the form in the child’s place. But this action is for him. On your part, help, guide, suggest, but not do it for him.

It's the same with study skills. Some find it difficult to read, others find it difficult to write or answer in class. It is very important that when school life begins, there is support: “I believe that you will succeed.” There is no need to save the child, try to do it for him, explain, but let him understand that he can do it himself, and you believe in him, despite the difficulties. If he needs help, don't be afraid to turn to you.

A child who is starting to relate to the education system needs a lot of support. His motivation and self-esteem have not yet matured. She is still at the level of a preschooler, and he needs endless amounts of confirmation that everything is fine with him, that he is a wonderful child. Because things aren't always going smoothly in school, the need for support at home increases.

The most important thing to avoid when a child goes to school is the formation of an evaluative attitude towards him. Let someone who is more relaxed about it help with the lessons. Usually a couple is selected so that one is calmer, the other less so. The more adults are nervous about the child, the more ambiguous the results may be. This is exactly the point of convergence of ambitions - it is important for everyone to have success.

Focus on the child's academic success

When checking your spelling (for example), you look not for the most crooked letter, but for the most acceptable one, and say: “This one turned out great!” - and don’t say your long comment about how the others turned out.

The beginning of school can be a certain point X for many, when a child has a slightly different attitude than we thought. It is extremely useful, before such a moment comes, to remember what happened in your childhood: who sat with you, who was nervous, what you wanted.

Focusing on success works for all children - it is one of the most successful things that can be stated. Writing is one of the most difficult skills, along with the fact that a child still needs to master a lot of things. Try writing a couple of sentences with your left hand in written letters, and you will be able to understand, in part, what difficulties a child experiences when learning to write.

Crisis 7 years

The 7-year crisis, unlike the 3-year crisis, may occur earlier or later. In general, it occurs at the time when the first milk teeth are replaced by the first molars. If teeth change early, this may be a family trait. If teeth fall out early in one child out of all, it may be that he is early in maturation. The crisis of 7 years is largely of social origin and is associated with the beginning of schooling.

Neoplastic crisis 7 years:

- this is, firstly, voluntary attention, which the child can hold for as long as he wants, on what he wants. Before this, attention was more beyond the child's control. This is one of the signs why you shouldn’t send six-year-old children to school - the six months between 6.5 and 7 are very important, when attention and many other things related to hand-eye coordination and eye-hand coordination mature. Teachers have always known that classes of six- and seven-year-old children are heaven and earth.

- this is, secondly, a student’s position, which consists of the ability to adequately respond to censure associated with success and the ability to accept authority. Until the crisis passes at 7 years, the child becomes offended and upset at any reproach. After this crisis, the child understands that the mother says this not to offend, but so that the child’s ability becomes better (i.e., the letter “A” becomes more beautiful).

- In addition, the child wants, can and strives to adopt patterns of behavior, patterns of thought, patterns of action from another adult, i.e. from the teacher. And here it is much easier for a child if this teacher is not a parent, because one of the signs of a 7-year-old crisis is opposition to parents, negativity and thoughts that parents understand something worse than the new authority.

The appearance of “Maryivanna who said” is a normal sign of a new formation, that now the teacher will be the main person for the child in terms of learning. This cannot be broken, it is useless. This incredibly beautiful image of a teacher can only be brought down from heaven in the most extreme cases - when the teacher has an obvious negative attitude towards your child.

This happens because all teachers have favorites and those they can’t stand. This should not be visible, but this rarely happens: the teacher chooses comfortable and attractive children, but does not choose noisy, active, pugnacious children. It is more difficult for boys here than for girls, because girls in primary school are very comfortable students.

The education system in primary school is tailored to a person who reacts quickly, quickly adapts, is resilient, and is able to quickly change types of activities. An individual approach is possible only in small classes of private schools or in small schools.

If your child falls outside the norm in terms of tempo characteristics, you need to prepare for the fact that he may not frame this very successfully, because it is very important for the child that the new authority (teacher) treats him favorably. A disapproving attitude can be destructive. Nothing can be done about it. Critical assessment will appear later, in high school. In elementary school, the teacher is a deity.

In general, the 7-year-old crisis encourages the child to master new social roles. Teacher – student – ​​vertical relationship. Submitting and being able to subjugate younger ones is a horizontal relationship. Everything that a child has mastered at school, he will bring to the family and will play on his younger brothers and sisters, on dolls. If your child goes to school, you should watch very carefully what he says to them, and then you will find out what “Maryivanna” says and how, what words he uses.

You can play school in advance, in preschool age. You can go to school and see how noisy it is during breaks, what kind of desks there are. You need to tell stories about different teachers, and generally tell more stories from your life about school.

The idea that a teacher is a person with her own shortcomings, strengths and weaknesses is not close to a child in a 7-year-old crisis. For him she is a deity at this time. If the deity is merciful, then you are lucky. If not - evil, unfair, spewing thunder and lightning - then not very good. It is better to prepare your child a little in advance for the fact that teachers are different.

New level of independence

A child in crisis for 7 years is stubborn. He stubbornly defends what he heard at school. It is not always manageable. He has polar behavior, as in the 3-year-old crisis: sometimes he behaves like an adult and independent, sometimes like a baby who wants to be held. And this polarity is a sign.

A mother can push the child away, offended by negative manifestations, and this is not right. It is very important, if possible, not to lose calm when you see your child honing his ability to say “no” about you. The most useful thing that can be done in a 7-year-old crisis is to confront the child with the consequences of his independence.

There is no need to protect him from possible mistakes, there is no need to try to convince him and ruin the relationship in the process. We can warn you about the consequences.

This crisis passes quite quickly, and the child develops a new level of independence, possibly related to completing educational tasks. But learning independence is a complex skill consisting of several blocks.

The first block is the planning block.
The second is the formulation of the problem.
The third block is execution.
The fourth block is verification.

This is what a child needs to learn during primary school from various subjects. At each stage, a jam may occur. For example, a child cannot yet accurately plan lesson time, because he has not yet become accustomed to the time continuum. You can help plan and organize help in the zone of proximal development: “Let’s come up with a time, and you’ll put it in your phone when it’s time for you to do your homework.”

Formulation of tasks. It is not always possible for a child to understand what is needed. Difficulty may arise here due to the child’s inability to read the written text, or misunderstanding of what Maryivanna said. Here, in the zone of proximal development, you can help by asking the child to explain what needs to be done in the task.

It is useful to put your child in an expert position regarding lessons: he is the expert, and you are in the wings. While he explains the task, you will understand whether he understood correctly, and you will be able to slightly correct the problem. If you are sure that Maryivanna said something wrong, then contacts with classmates are already very useful: “Call Masha, ask her,” - let her call and find out for herself.

Execution block. Here we work in the zone of proximal development - assess whether this can be done in one sitting. If the task is large, break it into pieces that the child can handle. This is also something that children cannot do on their own; they need organizational help. You see that there are a lot of examples, you suggest: “Let’s do this much first, then there will be a change, then more examples.”

Often a child cannot estimate the scope of a task even before the 3rd grade. It is necessary to teach the child not to be distracted by the volume of a small piece: not to jump up, not to run to the piano, not to dial a number, - not to be distracted by all sorts of more interesting and enjoyable activities.

Control and testing unit. This is generally a mystery, because adults know how to check, and that’s not always good. But in school they don’t always teach checking. Only good teachers teach how to check a dictation, how to recalculate as an example. We need to learn to check.

This is an absolutely wonderful skill. Children love to find mistakes, and you can offer him this “teacher’s” role in a playful way - checking. The child's self-esteem has not yet come into contact with reality. The self-esteem of a preschool child is inflated. During the crisis period of 7 years and in general in elementary school, she goes back to normal. Along the way, it may become undervalued - and this is even worse. But in grades 1-2, a child knows: everything he has done is wonderful, and he doesn’t check himself: he tried, he wrote, and that means it’s good. The ability to check is a separate skill that is also being developed.

Doing homework is a task consisting of such difficult blocks, and each piece may have glitches. But all this is easy to overcome, because man is an incredibly teachable creature, and it is important to guide him correctly.

Don't overload

Only a child who is not very tired can be able to check himself, be able to plan everything. An overloaded child first of all loses the ability to self-organize. When tired, what he mastered not so long ago flies out: he can still add 2 and 2, but he cannot sit himself down at the table and check what he has written. By systematically overloading the child, depriving him of the ability to self-control, we sign up to do his homework instead of him, for him, pushing him.

An overworked, chronically tired child is not a student. The load level is individual. It depends on the psychotype, on hemoglobin, on a million different factors. And you need to look at whether what you gave the child is normal or not - in terms of general condition, in terms of general sanity, in terms of how the child wakes up.

Two troubles for younger schoolchildren: chronic loss of self-esteem and chronic overwork. They are easily diagnosed by external people, but are difficult for mom to see: we are blind to some things. Moms and dads who overwork themselves tend to overload their children. Moms (and dads) tend to demand a lot from their children, who demand a lot from themselves.

If you know that you are a person with excellent student syndrome, you need to understand that this is the first thing that is ready to fall on your child’s head. All ambitions, all expectations, all demands on themselves are taken and transferred to the child. If you are comfortable with this, go ahead: maybe you will achieve excellent results and the child will be able to achieve more because of your ambitions.

But ambitions and expectations that fall on a child have a lot of side effects: health problems, you can discourage the desire to study, you can achieve a diploma with honors, but get it for yourself, to the detriment of the interests of the child. This is a rather transcendental thing - to see where your desires and ambitions are, and where the child’s desires and ambitions are. You need to try to understand which of your actions are dictated by your desires and which by the interests of the child.

Parents often do not notice their child’s 7-year-old crisis. It does not manifest itself as intensely as other age-related changes. But it still brings tension and discord into the lives of children. Let us consider in more detail the main causes, symptoms and features of the psychological restructuring of the body. You will also learn how to help your child cope with the difficult period of growing up.

At 3 years old, the child begins to separate himself from his parents. At the next stage, at the age of seven, the formation of one’s own “I” occurs. Experts identify several main reasons for a child’s atypical behavior:

1. The child analyzes his own feelings. Trying to understand his emotional state. Begins to meaningfully separate events that cause sadness and joy. Since it is difficult for him to independently manage all his experiences, stubbornness, mannerism, aggressiveness, and whims appear.
2. The old educational games for children are no longer enough. There is a need for new knowledge. The child wants to copy the behavior of adults. Psychologists recommend conducting so-called scientific children's experiments.
3. This period is also characterized by serious physiological changes. Growth is stimulated. Permanent teeth appear in place of baby teeth. It is difficult for a child to cope with anxiety.
4. One of the main causes of the crisis is entry into school. At this age, the environment completely changes. Completely unfamiliar obligations appear. It is often difficult for children to form new goals and understand what success is.

Symptoms of crisis 7 years

For some parents, the transition period goes completely unnoticed. Not all children respond equally strongly to change. But most often, signs of rebellion appear in behavior. The main symptoms of the crisis include the following:

• Negation. Problem of crisis 7 years is that it can easily be confused with habitual disobedience. But there is one characteristic feature. The child refuses to comply with all requests of the parents without a good reason. Punishment will not help in this case. Try to distract him with an interesting hobby and offer to perform the action again.
• Self-affirmation. Children demand from their parents unquestioning fulfillment of all wishes. But their main goal is not simply owning a thing, but the desire to show themselves to adults.
• Perseverance. The child denies the usual routine and way of life of the family. Crisis manifests itself 7 years refusal to go to school, get up in the morning, do homework, and so on.
• Whim. Children demonstrate a willful desire to do everything on their own. They refuse the help of adults and do not listen to advice and instructions.
• Conflict. It is difficult for a child to adapt to new rules and living conditions. Therefore, he constantly quarrels with others. In fact, the reason is in internal conflicts, which he transfers to loved ones.
• Crisis of ideals. New values ​​begin to form. The child no longer uses his usual toys. He distorts phrases, breaks previously loved things. Consciously repeats bad phrases and watches the parents’ reaction. Excessive guardianship leads to despotic tendencies, as well as cruelty towards other children.

Features of the 7-year crisis

Any signs of atypical behavior should not be ignored. After all, the consequences of ignoring are the most unpredictable - from problems in communication and low academic performance, to a severe form of neurosis.

Crisis of 7 years already at preschool age changes the child’s understanding of the people around him. He begins to divide them into “us” and “strangers”. You may notice calculated behavior. The child plays out the situation in advance in order to gain benefit. Any criticism of parents is accompanied by an inadequate reaction. If you do not praise for completing the simplest task, the response will be accusations, screaming, and crying.

The crisis period of 7 years is also characterized by increased curiosity. The child is interested in serious things - politics, moral issues, family problems. But he often does this to analyze the knowledge of adults.

Children are aware of their imperfections. They evaluate their own abilities and fantasize about possible achievements. For this reason, isolation, disobedience, and uncontrollability arise. The typical childish spontaneity disappears. Behavior becomes mannered, and family relationships become strained.

Crisis of 7 years - psychological aspect

Psychologists distinguish two stages of the transition period.

• At the first stage, rapid development begins. As a result, an imbalance appears between others and the child.
• If the parents behave correctly at the second stage, everything will work out. A new personal structure is being formed. The child realizes and analyzes his needs. Such knowledge helps to quickly adapt to society.

Psychologists do not recommend sending children to school before the age of 7. As a rule, already in the first grade the child’s academic performance will be low. In subsequent years, this will manifest itself as a lag in learning. After all, until the age of seven, play activity dominates. It is difficult for children to switch to classes. Which causes behavior problems.

But every child is individual. Therefore, only a specialist can help assess readiness for new obligations and possible emotional and personal discomfort. If the first signs of a crisis take you by surprise, you need to act immediately.

Immediate measures in case of acute manifestation of conflict

First, parents need to calm down. This is just another stage in a child's development. It will end, like all crises and illnesses. It is important to behave correctly, and the result will not take long to wait.

1. Do not limit your child's freedom under any circumstances. This will make the situation even worse. He must understand his experiences himself. Your task is to carefully control and unobtrusively guide.
2. Stop overprotecting your child. As soon as he feels independent, he will certainly seek advice. Then you will show you care.
3. Don't reproach or discuss children with your friends. This way you will completely lose trust.
4. Gradually prepare for a new way of life. Go to bed earlier and wake up with your child. Communicate with him as with an adult. Before the school year starts, visit school together. Show the classroom and talk to the teacher. In a familiar environment, it is easier for children to adapt.

There are several simple, but at the same time, effective ways to help cope with the transition period. We will look at them below.

You can use the help of specialists. As a rule, psychologists select an individual approach to the child based on the family structure. But there are still standard tips that won’t hurt:

1. Stop giving orders. The constant “you must do it” will turn into “I won’t.” Offer to perform the action in a playful way. In this case, a cautionary tale will also help. Show how to behave using the example of your favorite hero.
2. Don't put yourself above your child. Children aged 7 are able to draw on personal experience. Remember together how he caught a cold from eating too much ice cream last month.
3. Let your child discuss. He already has an informed opinion. Just teach how to argue correctly. This way you will show that you respect his decision.
4. The sudden transition from toys to books is very harmful and causes strong emotions. Suggest reading and writing gradually. Preferably in the form of a game. Repeat the letters together. At the same time, you can depict them with colored markers on a large Whatman paper.
5. Don't force yourself to stick to a standard daily routine. Invite him to choose his own schedule for completing all tasks. Communicate with your child as with an adult.
6. Never treat your child as your property. It doesn't have to become a copy of you. Try to sort out your feelings. After all, it’s much more difficult for children.

The child will have to go through several transition periods. The correct reaction of parents will help to overcome all difficulties painlessly. Use the above recommendations and crisis 7 years of life will end with your son or daughter unexpectedly growing up.

Video: “Characteristics of the 7-year crisis”

MARINA KOTSERUBA
Crisis 7 years

METHODOLOGICAL ASSOCIATION

SPECIALIZED EDUCATIONAL PSYCHOLOGISTS

GBDOU FOR CHILDREN WITH SPEECH IMPAIRMENTS OF SEVASTOPOL

SEMINAR-PRACTICUM

Psychological education of teachers and parents

Material on the topic: « CRISIS 7 YEARS» .

Prepared: Kotseruba M.V.

Teacher-psychologist GBDOU "D. With. No. 34

combined type"

Sevastopol.

PSYCHOLOGICAL FEATURES CRISIS STARTING SCHOOL, SEVEN YEARS CRISIS.

A crisis 6-7 years is a transitional period between preschool childhood and primary school age. The leading activity in primary school age, according to D. B. Elkonin, is educational activity. Thus, during crisis At the beginning of school, the child needs to switch from leading play activities to educational activities. It is this change in activity that creates the greatest difficulties during children’s adaptation to school.

At this age the fourth life begins E crisis. Erikson - the contradiction of hard work, competence and an inferiority complex.

The fourth psychosocial period lasts from 6 to 12 years (“school age”) and corresponds to the latent period in the theory of 3. Freud. At the beginning of this period, the child is expected to acquire basic cultural skills through school. This period of life is characterized by the child's increasing abilities for logical thinking and self-discipline, as well as the ability to interact with peers in accordance with. prescribed rules. A child's love for a parent of the opposite sex and rivalry with a same-sex parent are usually already sublimated at this age and are expressed in an internal desire for learning and success.

E. Erikson notes that in primitive cultures, the education of children is not too complicated and socially pragmatic. The ability to handle dishes and household utensils, weapons and other things in these cultures is directly related to the future role of an adult.

On the contrary, in those cultures where there is writing, children, first of all, are taught to read and write, which in due time will help them acquire complex skills and abilities necessary in various professions and activities. As a result, although children are taught differently in each culture, they become increasingly receptive to the technological ethnicity of their culture and their identity with it.

According to E. Erikson, children develop a sense of hard work when they begin to understand the technology of their culture through school. The term “industriousness” reflects the underlying theme of this period of development, as children during this time are engrossed in learning what comes out of it and how it works. This interest is reinforced and satisfied by the people around them and the school, where they are given initial knowledge about the “technological elements” of the social world, teaching them, working with them. The child's ego identity is now expressed So: “I am what I have learned.”

The danger at this stage lies in the possibility of feelings of inferiority or incompetence. For example, if children have doubts about their abilities or about their status among their peers, this may discourage them from studying further (during this period, attitudes towards teachers and learning are gradually acquired).

Feelings of inferiority may also develop when children discover that their gender, race, religion or socioeconomic status, rather than their level of knowledge and motivation, determine their personal worth and worth. As a result, they may lose confidence in their ability to function effectively in the world.

As mentioned above, a child's sense of competence and work ethic is highly dependent on academic performance. (at least in those cultures where there is writing). E. Erikson sees possible negative consequences in this limited definition of success. exactly: If children perceive school achievements or work as the only criterion by which their merits can be judged, they may become mere labor in the role hierarchy established by society. Therefore, true hard work does not simply mean being a good worker.

For E. Erikson, hard work includes a sense of interpersonal competence - the confidence that in the pursuit of important individual and social goals the individual can have a positive impact on society. Thus, the psychosocial power of competence is the basis for effective participation in social, economic and political life.

Crisis of 7 years.

Regardless of when a child starts school, at 6 or 7 years old, at some point in his development he goes through a crisis. This fracture may begin at age 7, or may shift by age 6 or 8. Like everyone a crisis, a crisis 7 years is not strictly related to an objective change in the situation. It is important how the child experiences the system of relationships in which he is included - be it stable relationships or dramatically changing ones. The perception of one’s place in the system of relations has changed, which means the social situation of development is changing and the child finds himself on the border of a new age period.

A crisis 3 years was associated with awareness of oneself as an active subject in the world of objects, pronouncing; "I myself", the child sought to act in this world, to change it. Now he comes to realize his place in the world of social relations. He discovers the meaning of a new social position - the position of a schoolchild, associated with the performance of academic work highly valued by adults.

And even though the child’s desire to take this new place in life did not appear at the very beginning of his education, but a year later, still the formation of an appropriate internal position radically changes his self-awareness. According to L. J. Bozhovich, a crisis 7 years is the period of birth of the child’s social “I”. A change in self-awareness leads to a reassessment of values. What was important before becomes secondary. Old interests and motives lose their motivating power and are replaced by new ones. Everything that is related to educational activities (first of all, grades) turns out to be valuable, everything related to the game is less important. A little schoolboy plays with enthusiasm and will play for a long time, but the game ceases to be the main content of his life.

The restructuring of the emotional and motivational sphere is not limited to the emergence of new motives and shifts and rearrangements in the child’s hierarchical motivational system. IN crisis period, profound changes occur in terms of experiences, prepared by the entire course of personal development in preschool age. At the end of preschool childhood, the child began to become aware of his experiences. Now conscious experiences form stable affective complexes.

The individual emotions and feelings that the four-year-old child experienced were fleeting, situational, and did not leave a noticeable trace in his memory. The fact that he periodically encountered failures in some of his affairs or sometimes received unflattering comments about his appearance and felt sadness, resentment or annoyance about this did not affect the development of his personality. As is known, only a few preschoolers acquire high levels of anxiety and low self-image; for this to happen, there must be a special atmosphere in the family

dissatisfaction and high demands. And, on the contrary, in an atmosphere of praise and admiration, children grow up with self-esteem that is prohibitively high even for preschool age; there are few of them either. All these cases are the result of assimilation of the constantly repeated assessment of close adults, and not of a generalization of one’s own emotional experience.

During crisis At the age of 7, it becomes clear that S. L. Vygotsky calls

Generalization of experiences. A chain of failures or successes (in school, in wide communication, each time experienced approximately equally by the child), leads to the formation of a stable effective complex - feelings of inferiority, humiliation,

offended pride or sense of self-worth, competence, exclusivity. Of course, in the future these affective formations may change, even disappear, as experience of a different kind is accumulated. But some of them, reinforced by relevant events and assessments, will be recorded in the personality structure and influence the development of the child’s self-esteem and his level of aspirations. Thanks to the generalization of experiences, at the age of 7 the logic of feelings appears. Experiences take on a new meaning for the child, between them

connections are established, it becomes possible, the struggle of experiences

This complication of the emotional and motivational sphere leads to

the emergence of the child's inner life. This is not a copy of his external life. Although external events, situations, relationships constitute the content of experiences, they are refracted in a unique way in consciousness, and emotional representations of them are formed depending on the logic of the child’s feelings, his level of aspirations, expectations, etc. Let’s say, the same mark received in class different children, will cause them completely different emotional response: “four” for one is a source of intense joy, for another - disappointment and resentment, is perceived by some as success, by others as failure. On the other hand, inner life - the life of experiences - influences behavior and, thereby, the outer outline

events in which the child is actively involved.

The beginning of differentiation of the external and internal life of the child is connected

with a change in the structure of his behavior. A semantic orienting basis for an action appears - a link between the desire to do something and

unfolding actions. This is an intellectual moment that allows you to more or less adequately evaluate a future action from the point of view of its results and more distant consequences. But at the same time, this is also an emotional moment, since the personal meaning of the act is determined - its place in the child’s system of relationships with others, probable feelings about changes in these relationships. Meaningful orientation in one’s own actions becomes an important aspect of one’s life. At the same time, it eliminates impulsiveness

and the spontaneity of the child's behavior. Thanks to this mechanism, children's immediacy: the child thinks before acting, begins to hide his experiences and hesitations, tries not to show others that he feels bad. The child is no longer the same in appearance. "internally", although throughout primary school age there will still be a significant degree of openness and the desire to throw out all the emotions on children and close adults to do what they really want.

Purely crisis The manifestation of the differentiation of the external and internal life of children usually becomes antics, mannerisms, artificial tension of behavior, a certain autonomy and independence, perseverance and perseverance, even stubbornness, determination and, in connection with this, increased cognitive activity. These external features, as well as the tendency to whims, affective reactions, conflicts, begin to disappear when the child leaves crisis and enters a new age period

Prevention and help in overcoming crisis starting school

One of the important methods of helping to overcome crisis The beginning of schooling is game correction - a method of psycho-correctional influence that uses the psychological mechanisms of play interaction between children and adults. The main difference between the methods of play correction and play therapy is the position of the adult in relation to the child. Play therapy is carried out individually by a therapist with one child in a specially equipped play room with many toys. Game correction is carried out in a group of children with active interaction and influence of the therapist on the course of the children’s game process.

The main task of psychocorrection in a children's play group according to A. S. Spivakovskaya is the elimination of distortions in the child's psychological development, the restructuring of already unfavorably formed neoplasms, forms of emotional response and behavioral stereotypes, the reconstruction of the general course of development and the reconstruction of full-fledged updated contacts of the child with the world. In other words, through the correction of distorted play, it is necessary to develop systems of self-esteem and self-awareness, increase children’s self-confidence, and practice new forms and types of play activities.

Game-type psychocorrectional techniques are a type of psychocorrection techniques aimed at developing children's communication skills, emotional and personal decentration, destroying old behavioral stereotypes and creating new ones.

The principles of psychological correction in the game are a set of rules that ensure the effectiveness of psychocorrectional influence.

The group process that occurs during psychocorrection of this type is carried out in three clearly visible stages.

I. Orientation stage. At this stage, children are given the opportunity to play spontaneously; the psychologist’s tactics are the least directive. The technique of dialogical communication, empathic listening, and mirroring of feelings is used; the principle of a minimum number of restrictions is especially important. If a child wants one of the parents to be present at the lessons, this is definitely allowed. It is very important to create in children a positive emotional attitude towards the game, an atmosphere of “safety” in the group, to prepare the child for further actualization and response to suppressed feelings. Games that make it easier to make contact, as well as non-verbal communication techniques, are widely used.

Diagnosis of the first impression of the game and partners, children’s assessment of the group process is carried out using the technique of game sociometry. A. S. Spivakovskaya developed a special technique for playing with a ball, when children’s feelings for each other are manifested through the choice of partners. Similar goals are served by a set of competitive games in which results are not so much important as the choice of partners, the child taking on a role and explaining feelings. At this stage, it is necessary to constantly support all the positive aspects of children’s behavior and provide everyone with emotional support, mainly in non-verbal form. The psychologist follows the game context; he himself assimilates the “game language” of the group.

2. Reconstructive stage. Here the main task is to create conditions for self-research, for self-diagnosis of motives of behavior, for the child to understand his experiences and feelings. Since the adult has already been accepted by the gaming group and his participation is perceived not as “adult pressure”, but as a creative and equal participation in the game, the psychologist can use more active psychotechnical techniques: offer game plots, introduce some self-suggestion techniques, use an individualized technique for desensitizing fears.

An important psychotechnical tool is the techniques "reaction" negative feelings (suppressed aggressiveness, anger, resentment, empathic listening, dialogue-type communication, as well as the use of special gaming techniques, for example, finger painting and role-playing games.

Any games can be useful for self-exploration, since the choice of a role and its implementation in the game plot can reveal the complex feelings of children, experiences of fear and anxiety, ambivalence of feelings towards parents, and the reasons for difficulties in interaction and contacts in the children's team.

Gradually, at the reconstructive stage, the game acquires an increasingly projective character. However, for a psychologist it is not at all necessary (albeit tempting) and even deciphering the hidden meaning or “subtext” of the game is harmful. It is more important to create conditions for each child to understand his own experiences and to develop the skills of separating fragments of his behavior from the impulses and feelings that cause them. Experience shows that the task of self-exploration is quite accessible to preschool children, starting from 5-6 years.

3. Fixing stage. At this stage, the psychologist offers the children’s play group various game tasks in which he observes the manifestation of the children’s achievements. "personal achievements". It can be noted that the more fully the holistic acceptance and manifestation of the child’s personality was achieved, the more complete and profound the achieved psychocorrectional effect.

By the end of the indicative stage of play correction, almost all children go through a period of pronounced changes in external behavior, and one can see that lethargic, inhibited, constrained children seem to loosen up, become more active, their tone and mood increase, and motor activity increases.

And vice versa, highly emotional, aggressive, disinhibited children become more restrained, calm, focused, and show more control and independence in games.

However, the greatest difficulties and trials for children, parents and psychologists are attributed to approximately the first third of the reconstructive stage, when during the game the main "internal conflicts of the child begin to be revealed, the behavior of children in the home environment and in children's institutions sharply is changing: maladjusted behavior intensifies, all positive acquisitions of the first stage disappear.

For a psychologist, the period of sharpening of maladjusted behavior is rather positive, since this is a reliable indicator that the process is proceeding effectively, that the psychologist is approaching the zone of the child’s internal conflict, affecting personally significant layers of his inner world. Experience and repeatability of such natural dynamics allow the psychologist to calmly overcome the difficult period and continue to consistently implement the psychotechnical system of influence in the children's group.

Next "dangerous" the period in group dynamics begins at the end of the reconstructive phase, when the children’s behavior becomes orderly, but is characterized by a feeling of strong attachment to the psychologist.

It is very important to consider the causality, regularity and temporality of such an increased positive feeling of children towards a psychologist, to help parents understand its complex psychological nature, to make parents allies and not competitors in the struggle to retain children's love and affection, and to confidentially discuss the psychological essence of parental authority.

At the stage of consolidating the changes achieved in correction in the experiences and behavior of children, the relationship between the child and the psychologist becomes friendly, trusting, but neutral. The autonomy and independence of children and the ability to self-control are enhanced. Not only individual play changes, but also the child’s play with peers, communication becomes relaxed and joyful.

Seryozha, put on your hat. It's cold outside. - Not cold. - Put on your hat. - I won’t wear it - Seryozha! - Not Seryozha!

However, despite the external similarity, each age crisis has its own background. If earlier the child “fought” mainly for independence, the ability to act autonomously (I’ll sit on the potty myself!), then at seven years old the manifestation of the crisis is associated with the loss of childish spontaneity, that is, with the “wedging” of the intellectual moment between experience and action. Ordinary household rules established by parents become for the child the embodiment of the “children’s” world, from which he rather wants to move away. The child feels an urgent need to be an “adult”, to behave like an adult, to dress appropriately, to make independent decisions. This is largely facilitated by the very cultural environment in which children are raised. From an early age, a child is taught that when he goes to first grade, this will indicate that he has grown up. Having become a schoolchild, a child expects to become an “adult” with the acquisition of his own social position. (In the psychological concept of L. I. Bozhovich, “the crisis of 7 years is the period of the birth of the child’s social “I.”

The importance of the crisis of seven years is evidenced by the fact that many domestic psychologists studied it. L. S. Vygotsky sees the psychological meaning of the crisis of seven years in the fact that, having lost spontaneity, the child gains freedom in the current situation. This freedom is given to him by the arbitrariness and indirectness of his mental life. He begins to understand and realize his experiences, and a “logic of feelings” arises. In addition, the ability to generalize one’s own experiences appears (only now the child, fully aware, can say “I like this, but I don’t like that,” without being guided by the preferences of a significant adult). Through involvement in school life, the child’s range of interests and social contacts expands; communication with adults and peers becomes arbitrary, “mediated” by certain rules.

The main mental new formation that the seven-year crisis leads to is the ability and need for social functioning. The child strives to obtain a certain social position - the position of a schoolchild. It should be noted that according to Vygotsky’s theory, age-related crises are an integral part of personality formation. The result of each crisis is a mental new formation on which further development is built.

Thus, development is not possible without age-related crises. Vygotsky introduces the idea of ​​two types of ages - critical and stable. During a crisis, “Development takes on a stormy, rapid, and sometimes catastrophic character.” The critical period is determined by disharmony, a contradiction between the environment and the child’s attitude towards it. Development in a stable period leads to the emergence of a new personality structure - a neoplasm. This neoplasm leads to a violation of harmony between the child and the reality around him. The emergence of the new in development is necessarily at the same time the disintegration of the old.

Using the example of the seven-year crisis in the works of L. I. Bozhovich, it was demonstrated that delaying the transition to new living conditions leads to phenomena that were understood as indicating a development crisis. This is where A. N. Leontiev’s idea about the crisis-free nature of development found its expression. Crises were considered not the norm, but a developmental pathology. The crisis is a consequence of improper upbringing. The critical age in the theory of activity of A. N. Leontiev is the moment of change in leading activity. At the age of seven, play activities are replaced by educational ones. The emergence of a new activity is associated with the mechanism of the emergence of new motives, with a “shift of motive to goal.” Leontiev believed that a crisis (a painful, acute period in development) is not a necessary symptom of the transition from one stable period to another, from one leading activity to another. In recognizing or not recognizing the need for withering away, there is a cardinal divergence in the positions of L. S. Vygotsky and A. N. Leontiev.

In Russian psychology, there are two fundamental positions in understanding critical ages.

1). Recognition of critical ages as necessary moments of development in which special psychological work occurs. This is the position of L. S. Vygotsky and D. B. Elkonin.

2) Recognition of the need for qualitative transformations, which consist of a change in leading activities and a simultaneous transition to a new system of relations. In this case, the emphasis is on external conditions, social rather than psychological mechanisms of development. In this form, the position is presented by A. N. Leontiev, L. I. Bozhovich.

As you can see, even among professional psychologists there is no consensus on age-related crises, so each parent himself decides to hide and wait out the storm or fight with all his might to ensure that the child avoids painful periods in his development. There are only opinions, but there is no general recipe.

IMPORTANT MENTAL CHARACTERISTICS OF CHILDREN 6-7 years old

• Children are confused by the need to take a new, more “adult” position in life and do work that is important not only for themselves, but also for those around them. And, oddly enough, this does not necessarily mean studying at school. This could include helping parents around the house and with their work, playing sports, and caring for pets on their own.
• A new level of self-awareness appears - awareness of oneself not only as a boy, son, play partner, but also as a friend, student, classmate. The child becomes aware of his social self, that is, of himself in society. It is important to him how he communicates with others and how they communicate with him.
• The emerging personality of a 7-year-old child acquires a so-called internal position, which remains for life and determines a person’s behavior, his activities, as well as his attitude towards the environment and himself. The internal position is formed depending on what the child himself is like, what place he occupies in the environment and what kind of environment it is.

At the age of 7, in difficult situations it is no longer possible to switch the child’s attention and impose your opinion on him. Remember that a seven-year-old child needs to identify with an authoritative adult. For a boy, this is dad, grandfather, older brother; for a girl - mother, grandmother, older sister.

For many children, this is also the first teacher: “As Marya Ivanovna says, so I will do!” In such situations, parents should not be offended. If you encourage and support the child’s desire for a new, more “adult” position in life, the child’s age crisis may not manifest itself at all in life, the child’s age crisis may not manifest itself at all.

Many children don't want to go to school. Why?

• Children don't want to study because they are afraid of difficulties. How did they know that school was difficult? From parents' conversations: “Which school to choose? How many foreign languages ​​are taught there? Is there programming or logic there? No?! Then we won’t go to such a school.”
• Children do not want to learn because they already know “what it is.” “Can I bring my 4-year-old son to you for a consultation?” - “What’s your problem?” - “He doesn’t want to do his homework!” - "?"
• Many children begin to study quite seriously already in kindergarten. Thus, the motive “I want to learn to read and write” is already partially satisfied for them. But everything has its time. Because study (and not play) as a leading activity is characteristic of a seven-year-old only theoretically. Throughout the entire period of primary school, learning only tries to become a friend for the child.
• On a note.

To make the child’s adaptation to school smoother:

• A month before school, change your baby's routine. Let him get up early in the morning and not stay late in the evening.
• Introduce your child to the school and teacher. If your child knows where his class, cafeteria, and toilet are at school, he will feel more confident. Help your child remember the way from school to home. After all, if he is “already an adult,” he will certainly want to return himself.
• During the initial period of learning, do not overload your child with various “developmental activities”: clubs, tutors, music. Let him get used to one thing - in this case, school.
• Take a few weeks off. The child simply needs your support: the environment at home should be calm, and mom or dad will help if necessary.

Be a family of optimists, then you will not have to deal with any problems and development crises. After all, you are together!

***

During the crisis of three years, the child becomes aware of himself as a separate “I”. The crisis of seven years is the awareness of one’s “I” as part of society. If previously the child expressed his feelings directly, now he has inner life. It influences external life, albeit indirectly. Hidden experiences cause the main symptoms of the 7-year-old crisis in children:

1. Loss of spontaneity. Previously, the child expressed his desires and discontent directly, according to the principle “I want!” Now he is thinking: what significance will what I do/say have for me? This thought (albeit unconscious for the child himself) expresses the loss of spontaneity between the child’s desires and actions.
2. The child may begin to hide something, to be cunning, to be disingenuous, to be mannered. Thus, mannerisms- another sign of the crisis of seven years.
3. The last main symptom of the 7-year crisis is "bittersweet" symptom. In an effort to protect his inner world, the child will try to hide from you that he feels bad. Trying to find out what happened can lead to the child withdrawing into himself and becoming uncontrollable.

Another crisis of seven years can be defined by the following signs, such as low self-esteem, antics, bickering, lethargy, stubbornness, outbursts of anger or aggression (or maybe, on the contrary, excessive shyness), increased fatigue, irritability, isolation, problems with academic performance.

How to overcome the crisis of 7 years? Your main helpers in this difficult task are patience, sensitivity and love. Usually, at the age of seven, a child is sent to school. However, before sending your child to first grade, check his level of readiness for school- both psychological and intellectual. The age for starting training is not strictly fixed, so if you decide to wait a year, it’s okay.

If you do send your child to study, proper adaptation to school is very important. Try to accustom your child to a new daily routine before school so that he is not so tired in the first weeks. If possible, give your child a short tour of the school - when he knows where everything is, he will feel more confident. At first, you should not burden your child with sections, clubs and tutors - first he needs to get used to school. If he started problems with studies- think about the right motivation.

To overcome the crisis of seven years, it is necessary develop intelligence child, but soberly assessing his capabilities. Read books, fairy tales and poems with him, play educational games. By the way, games will help the child learn to manage his emotions, this will get rid of antics and mannerisms. However, do not tie your child to yourself; let him communicate with his peers as much as possible.

Learn respect the child. During the first time after starting school, your authority in his eyes may be shaken, because a new authority will appear - the first teacher. Many parents make a common mistake by trying to “build” their child and prohibiting him from many things. Learn to say “yes”, ban only what really needs to be banned. Encourage your child to be independent, but do not force him to behave like adults.

The key to successfully overcoming the crisis 7 years- this is your attention, love, goodwill and support. Remember that the seven-year crisis is not a pathology, but a normal course of your child’s development. This difficult stage is easiest to overcome together.

***

7 years is a difficult period in a child’s life. This is the time when all his stereotypes are broken, all his ideas about the world, formed throughout his early childhood. A whole life change occurs: play activities are replaced by educational ones, parents or kindergarten teachers who are constantly present nearby are replaced by strict teachers, a free daily routine is replaced by a strictly defined one. All this results in a crisis for a 7-year-old child, which, of course, entails certain consequences. What is the crisis of a 7-year-old child and what are its consequences?

The essence and symptoms of a crisis in a 7 year old child

This is due to the fact that the child’s life is divided into internal (psychological) and external. Now there are fewer impulsive actions, because a clearer connection is established between the child’s internal motivation and actions. In other words, during the crisis of 7 years, a certain semantic orientation appears in the child’s actions, and he, regardless of his desires, has to become more mature.

Compared to the “pre-crisis” age, the child’s self-esteem changes radically. If earlier he had a positive attitude towards himself, regardless of anything, now the child’s “I” is divided into “Real Self” and “Ideal Self.” “I-real” is the child’s awareness of who he really is. The “ideal self” is who he would like to be. As a result, self-esteem becomes more adequate, and the “ideal self” meets very high demands.

The child’s attitude towards adults also becomes different. If earlier he behaved approximately the same way both with relatives and friends, and with strangers, without separating them for himself, now he can strictly separate who is his own and who is a stranger, and adjust his behavior in relation to different people, and also create different perceptions about different people.

Another symptom of the onset of the 7-year-old crisis is cunning as a violation of the usual rules or requirements of parents in a hidden form and the deliberate creation of situations in which the child can gain some benefit for himself. This is usually of a playful nature and is a joke, rather than a serious offense. For example, instead of washing their hands before eating, the child either does not wash them at all, or goes to the bathroom, spends some time there, then goes to the table without washing his hands. He may also play with water and come out with wet (but dirty) hands, defiantly showing them to his mother. If his mother reproaches him for this, he says that he forgot, returns to the bathroom and washes his hands. If the baby has brothers or sisters, this trick is often, first of all, aimed at relationships with them, and then at relationships with parents.

One of the least common symptoms is an inappropriate reaction to parental criticism. The fact is that when a child does something, he counts on his parents’ praise, and when he doesn’t receive it, he can react very violently: cry, blame his parents for misunderstanding, etc.

For a child during a crisis of 7 years, independence, the ability to do something without the help of an adult, and independent choice of field of activity become very important. For example, during this period a child happily washes his things, goes to buy bread - in a word, he participates in activities in which he had not previously participated, often giving up what he was interested in before. Moreover, as a rule, if you ask him for something, the child will become stubborn and will not do it or will do it reluctantly, but if the idea of ​​something came from him personally, the child will probably do it with great pleasure!

This feature, which characterizes the 7-year-old crisis, is also associated with the development of the child’s independent activity. For example, in addition to playing, he begins to enjoy doing things such as sewing, knitting, designing, crafts made from paper or other materials, etc. Moreover, the result of such independent activity is of great value for the child.

Thus, we can say that during the crisis of 7 years, the entire inner world of the child changes beyond recognition. Psychologists call the main symptom of the emerging crisis a child’s loss of spontaneity, which manifests itself in antics, mannerisms, and artificially tense behavior. After all, what does spontaneity in behavior mean? This means that the child is the same on the outside as he is on the inside. The crisis of 7 years, when this spontaneity is lost, introduces an intellectual element into the child’s actions, which now acts as an intermediary between the experience and the natural action.

Also, the child may become withdrawn, uncontrollable, the child may become disobedient, reject demands previously accepted by him, and may begin to conflict with parents and other family members, either simply ignoring words or openly rejecting them.

Why does this happen and how to deal with such a naughty child

To answer this question, you need to know that the main, and most importantly, fundamentally new need of the child during this period is respect. Children at this moment simply need to feel that he is respected, treated like an adult and recognized for his independence. If this main need for communication with a 7-year-old child is ignored, then understanding in relations with him can no longer be expected.

* Let us give a specific example from psychological practice:

“Kirill is six years old and three months old. The boy is distinguished by his curiosity and prudence. He is happy to help his dad when something needs to be fixed or repaired. He is going to kindergarten and putting his things in order. In the senior group, Kirill was considered one of the most responsible guys; he was assigned the most difficult tasks. At home, Kirill is accustomed to obeying his parents, especially his dad, who is a great authority for him. For the summer, the parents sent their son to his grandmother. When asked how Kirill was behaving, the grandmother complained that he did not react to her words, that it was time to finish the game and go to dinner, and that it was very difficult to put him to bed. Typical answer: “Sasha (cousin who is twelve years old) doesn’t sleep, why should I?”

Of course, the parents do not understand what is happening to the boy and how to cope with it. But from the point of view of a psychologist, this is a natural stage in the development of a child approaching the 7-year-old crisis. As we have already said, during this period the motivation for the child’s actions is formed, he determines new rules that were not established by him, and learns to act according to them. The child’s first reaction in this situation is to violate these rules.

Based on the above, the most significant feature of the crisis of a 7-year-old child can be called the beginning of the process of separating the internal and external sides of the child’s personality, which gives rise to many new experiences for him and, consequently, certain changes in behavior and relationships with the outside world.

Features of a child’s experiences accompanying the 7-year-old crisis:

Experiences become meaningful, that is, the child begins to understand the meaning of the expressions: “I am happy,” “I am sad,” “I am angry,” “I am kind,” and can consciously navigate his own experiences;

The child learns to generalize his experiences, that is, if the same situation is repeated many times, he is able to analyze it and draw certain conclusions. This makes a certain sense - by generalizing his experiences, the child forms an attitude towards himself, his own self-esteem;

As a result of comprehending his experiences, the child may feel some kind of struggle between them, which will also be expressed in anxiety.

As already mentioned, by the beginning of the crisis of 7 years, a child begins to feel like an adult, which is manifested in his acute need to be an “adult,” to talk and dress like an adult, to demand to be treated like an adult. This is largely facilitated by the parents themselves, who often tell the preschooler that he will become an adult when he goes to first grade. And having waited for this happy day, the child firmly believes that he has automatically become an adult and has the right to demand appropriate treatment. Connected with this is a new development in the psychology of a 7-year-old child, called the “internal position of a schoolchild.” What does it mean? In general, this new formation begins to form on average from the age of 5: at first children dream about school, about how they will do really serious things at school, and closer to 7 years they have a real need to gain new knowledge and entering school.

What are the stages of development of a student’s position and his motivation?

There are 3 of them:

1) At the age of 6, a child has a desire to go to school, but so far it is aimed only at the external form, without taking into account the content of school life. In other words, the child likes to listen to stories about school, he is interested in whether there is a uniform, how lessons and breaks are organized, and the external attributes of the school. But this position, in fact, is still preschool - the child does not think about the responsibilities that school imposes on him, does not think about the mandatory change in his daily routine, etc. For him, only the external form is important.

3) During the crisis of 7 years, the child already begins to develop a real “schoolchild position”, expressed not only in social, but also in academic interest. But this position is fully formed only by the age of eight.

During the crisis of 7 years, as you can already understand, the motivational sphere is actively developing, new motives of behavior arise, among which the motives that encourage the child to go to school are of particular importance. These are the following motives:

Cognitive (learning) motive, that is, the desire to learn and experience something new;

Broad social motives, that is, the child accepts the general opinion that learning is necessary;

Positional motive, that is, the child’s desire to take a new position in society;

Motives external to learning itself, that is, those that accompany the external side of learning at school, for example, submission to the demands of adults;

The gaming motive, that is, the expectation that academic life is a kind of game;

The motive for receiving a high grade, that is, the expectation of the teacher’s praise and self-affirmation due to this among peers.

How to understand what motivation prevails in your child

Each child has different leading motives. Some people go to school, first of all, to make new acquaintances, some - to please their parents with good grades, some - to really gain knowledge. How can you understand what guides your child when going to school?

There are many methods for studying a child’s motives. But there is one very simple way to understand what exactly your child expects from school.

You can read a short story to your child, where each of the characters explains their desire to go to school in different ways (in accordance with one of the listed motives). What motivation a child chooses for himself means that it prevails in his attitude towards his admission to school.

Research shows that 6-year-olds are more likely to choose play motivation (often in combination with others, such as social or positional). Moreover, there is a very interesting feature: under educational conditions, that is, if a child goes to school from the age of 6, this motive gives way to a positional one, and then a cognitive one much more slowly than this could happen. Based on this, young mothers can be advised not to send their child to school earlier than the generally accepted age - because this may contribute to the inhibition of his motivational development.

What should parents do if they notice the onset of a 7-year-old crisis in their child?

- “including” the tone of order and edification towards a child at this age, you will achieve absolutely nothing in establishing relationships with your child;

If you feel that scandals with your child are becoming more and more frequent, take a break from each other;

Maintain a high degree of optimism and humor when communicating with your child;

Try to always positively evaluate your child - both him as a person and his actions. If you point out your child’s mistakes, analyze together the reasons for these mistakes and discuss ways to correct them and express confidence that he will succeed;

Try to be more attentive to your child, show more love, warmth, affection, tell him more often that you love him and miss him;

Come up with special tasks for children, task games, various assignments, “your own” things to do. Keep them busy with productive activities - do various crafts with them, evaluate the results, praise them. During classes, take more breaks aimed at changing types of activities: for example, physical education, music break;

Give your child more tasks related to the development of creative initiative, imagination and fantasy. This will stimulate the sign function - the most important prerequisite for the transition to educational activity;

When communicating with your child, do not forget about quiet conversations before bedtime, evening conversations, and discussions of daytime events. Try to pay attention to the child’s inner world, talk to him as if he were an adult;

If a child is capricious, there is no need to argue with him, impose your opinion, or threaten him with punishment. It’s better to take a time out and stop communicating for a while, and then simply not remember what happened. It is useful to create situations where good behavior would be an end in itself (arrange a “day of obedience” and spend it without a single comment, “day of good deeds,” “day of politeness,” etc.). You can keep a “behavior notebook”, where bad and good deeds for the week would be written down in 2 columns in different colors, and summed up at the end of the week. But this notebook should under no circumstances be used to blackmail a child;

Tasks aimed at developing independence, decision-making skills, and self-control will be useful.

If you use at least some of the recommendations given here, you will be able to overcome the negative manifestations of the “7-year crisis” and come out of this equally difficult period for both the child and the parents with honor.

The crisis at the age of 7 is the next stage of a child’s development, associated with a change in social status: a preschooler turns into a schoolchild. The main features of this transition period are problems with discipline and compliance with the rules of behavior in society. How can you tell if your son or daughter is going through a crisis? Why is this happening? How should mom and dad behave to help their offspring? Let's consider the answers to these questions from the point of view of developmental psychology.

The 7-year-old crisis is associated with the child’s reluctance to obey generally accepted disciplinary requirements.

Manifestations of the crisis

Experiencing a crisis of 7-8 years, the child is preparing for a new stage of life, which will begin when he crosses the school threshold. Overcoming emotional difficulties will help him become a full-fledged member of the new environment, accept its rules and realize the benefits. Features of this period:

The transitional stage is characterized by certain patterns of child behavior, the main of which are:

• pretense;
• fidgetiness, restlessness;
• harmful actions whose motives defy logical explanation;
• imitating adults;
• clowning and clowning as ways to attract attention.

The listed behavioral characteristics of a seven-year-old are complemented by such emotional characteristics as:

• increased fatigue;
• irritability;
• hot temper;
• absent-mindedness, which often leads to not very good performance at school;
• aggressiveness or the opposite traits - isolation, shyness.

During a crisis period, children begin to relate themselves to their peers:

• compare themselves with others, often underestimating their own capabilities;
• they are looking for authority - unfortunately, in many cases this turns out to be a child with not very good behavior;
• they slander their friends, curry favor with adults, trying to “rise” in their eyes.

Self-diagnosis

Mom and dad can determine that a child is facing a crisis by carefully observing his behavior. The following questionnaire will help you organize your conclusions and assess the emotional state of your offspring. When answering her questions, you should give “2 points” if the listed traits and behavioral characteristics are constantly manifested, “1 point” - noticeable periodically, “0 points” - they are generally unusual for the child.

Questionnaire to identify signs of crisis 7 years:

1. Over the past 6-12 months, the child has changed dramatically.
2. He always tries to “talk” to his elders and is rude.
3. Lost interest in kindergarten and developmental activities at the children's center.
4. I became indifferent to the toys that I used to love very much. Only interested in playing with other children.
5. He likes to communicate with older guys more than with kids.
6. He loved the school game and asks a lot about it.
7. Often quarrels with parents over little things.
8. He is stubborn and defends his opinion despite everything.
9. He clowns around, makes faces, speaks in a voice that is not his own.
10. Imitates adults and tries to fulfill their duties.

After all the questions have been answered, you should add up the total score; it will be in the range from 0 to 20. Interpretation of the results:

1. 0-5 points. This is too little for a seven year old. The child is very calm, but such behavior may indicate some delay in psycho-emotional development.
2. 5-10 points. This result most likely does not mean the presence of a crisis. Bad behavior may be due to individual character traits or errors in the educational process.
3. 10-20 points. The son has been going through a crisis for 7 years. You can smooth out its manifestations and help the child by changing the system of requirements and attitude towards him. Otherwise, the crisis may drag on and lead to the formation of negative character traits.

Causes of the crisis

Crises of adolescence, three, seven years old have one common feature - denial. At the same time, each difficult period is characterized by its own characteristics.

At three years old, the child struggles for his independence - the ability to perform actions autonomously. The seven-year-old begins to lose the spontaneity characteristic of childhood; an intellectual moment is wedged between action and experience. Plus there is a difficult adaptation to school.

Conflict between needs and environment

A 7-8 year old child wants more than anything to become an adult. He is pushed to this not only by internal needs, but also by the cultural environment. Most boys and girls are taught by older family members that going to first grade means growing up.

Having started attending school, the child sincerely hopes that he has become independent and acquired a new social position. In his opinion, the established household rules that were in effect in the “past life of a child” must undergo changes. As a result, he begins to resist them - he wants to decide for himself when and where to go, what to wear, and so on. The child is convinced that he has every right to behave like an adult.

Loss of childish spontaneity

Another aspect of the 7-year crisis is the loss of situational reactions and spontaneity. Children's behavior becomes more arbitrary and less influenced by external factors. This is why pretense, affectation, and mannerisms appear.

A boy or girl chooses a role for himself and follows its logic, while his position may be completely inconsistent with the situation. As a result, there are causeless mood swings, inconsistency of emotions, changes in behavior, and unnatural reactions to certain events.

Result of the crisis

Along with difficulties, the offspring experiences rapid development. First, in the first period of crisis, disharmony arises - the child and the environment that surrounds him come into conflict. Then, in the second stage, everything stabilizes. As a consequence, a new mental formation occurs, which is a new personality structure. Its essence for the 7-year crisis is the need and ability to function in society. The offspring strives for a social position, in particular the position of a school student.

What should parents do?

What should a mother and father of a “crisis” child do? First of all, don't panic. It is important to understand that the critical period will not last long. As a result, instead of antics, the child will learn to act of his own free will in any situation, taking into account external circumstances, but not blindly following them. He will gain his own position, his own opinion, his own attitude to the various vicissitudes that will arise in life. He will construct his own “I”, his inner world with space for imagination and choice of actions.

Understanding parents can make the crisis period easier. You should change your attitude towards your offspring, expanding the boundaries of his freedom. It is necessary to give him the opportunity to understand himself. It is important to patronize and limit your son or daughter less - care should not be manifested in total control of the child’s life, but in control and careful guidance.

The right to make your own decisions

The main field for the manifestation of negative signs of the seven-year-old crisis is the demands made on the child at school and at home, which he desperately internally resists. After the first bell rings, many actions move into the “must do” or “should” category. As a result, the words “I don’t want” and “I won’t” are heard more and more often from the lips of the offspring.

Mom and Dad need to be cunning. Requirements should be formulated so that the son or daughter wants to fulfill them of their own free will. You can call on a hero who is authoritative for the child to help by telling an instructive story in which he found himself in a similar situation and did the right thing.

By the age of 7, the offspring has accumulated a certain amount of life experience, and he is able to make some decisions based on it. If possible, parents should appeal to this experience, and not put pressure on their child with their authority. For example, a child does not want to dress warmly. He needs to be reminded how he recently got cold while not being equipped for the weather.

A seven-year-old child already has his own opinion on many issues. You cannot drown it out - on the contrary, you should teach your child to argue reasonedly, proving his position. On the one hand, this will force him to justify his demands or refusal to follow the instructions of his elders, and on the other hand, mom and dad will learn to hear and take into account the opinion of their child.

One of the main problems of the 7-year crisis is disobedience. Parents need to reconsider their position in communicating with their son or daughter. There should be no orders. It is important to conduct dialogue as equals. The child should be asked questions, interested in his opinion, given the opportunity to make decisions, and also be responsible for them. For example, if your son refuses to follow the established daily routine, there is no need to force him. It's better to ask how much time he needs for this or that task, then adjust the schedule together.

Preserving childhood

During a crisis period, a transition occurs to the next stage of personality development, but the offspring still remains a child. Don't forget about this. In difficult moments, you can use instructive cartoons, fairy tales, and stories. A son or daughter will be happy to follow the positive example of their favorite heroes. For mom and dad, this approach will allow them to shift their authoritarian role away from themselves.

With the start of school life, it becomes necessary to spend a lot of time studying. It is difficult for a child to fully immerse himself in the learning process. There should be room for games in his life. It’s good if it is possible to introduce school subjects playfully - for example, let your son or daughter do what they love, and in the meantime repeat words or solve examples orally. Letters can be drawn with pencils or crayons. It is important to learn together with your child, this will make it easier for him to accept new processes and they will become a harmonious part of his daily routine.

Provided the parents have the right attitude, the 7-year crisis passes almost unnoticed. Moreover, during this period the child can develop human qualities, which will then help him in life. It is important that adult family members adhere to simple rules:

• explained;
• listened;
• consulted;
• eliminated violence;
• provided personal time;
• did not treat the child as property.

Explain

Of course, there must be prohibitions in a child’s life, but before introducing a “taboo”, it should be explained why this should not be done. In addition, it is worthwhile to formulate the rules correctly - in the form of advice or warning, and not an order. Thanks to this, the child will feel equal to adults.

There is no need to be afraid that this approach will lead to the loss of parental unconditional authority. The son or daughter will continue to listen to the words of their elders on an instinctive level.

Listen

Mom and dad need to listen carefully to the child without criticism. Let him tell stories, even if they contain fantasy elements, and share what interests him. Psychologists note that the fear of public speaking begins in childhood, when older family members do not bother to listen to the child or, even worse, laugh at him (we recommend reading:).

The child gradually begins to recognize himself as a new part of society and understand the importance of his role in society. There is no need to deprive him of his importance at home; he should feel like a full member of the family.

You should be interested in the opinion of your son or daughter - when planning leisure time, making purchases. It is important to involve your offspring in drawing up the family budget. This will help him understand the value of money. As a teenager, he will not demand them or take them from his parents without permission.

Eliminate violence

You cannot show violence towards your child - neither moral nor physical. Humiliation contributes to the formation of low self-esteem. If a child is punished very strictly for disobedience, then in the future he will not be able to say “no” in response to requests from other people. Harsh physical measures sow resentment in a child’s soul, which remains for life.

Provide personal time

A seven-year-old child has to spend a long time in a group and find a common language with different children. Of course, this requires a lot of energy and effort. It is worth giving him the opportunity to be alone. If a child closes the door to his room, there is no need to disturb him, let him spend his time the way he wants - draw, dance, sing a song, fantasize.

Don't treat your child like property

Parents who have spent a lot of time and effort raising a child find it difficult to let him go and stop caring for him. However, he is not their property, but a separate person who has the right to his own characteristics, hobbies, and opinions. The crisis of seven years is most difficult for those children whose parents are strenuously trying to take control of them. A son or daughter needs help and support, not moralizing and stricter rules. If the situation is very difficult, you should seek advice from a psychologist who will help you understand your parental feelings.